Golden Stans 2010

Films seen in 2010: 73 (matching my all-time record recorded in 1993). Films qualifying for the Golden Stans 2010: 65 (I saw Iron Man 2, Toy Story 3 and Inception twice, and saw five old films). With that many films competing, inevitably there’s a lot of good work.

But first, I shall start with the Cone of Shame: my award for the worst movie of the year. I was tempted to throw it at Catherine Breillat’s flawed Bluebeard or the shocking disappointment that was Robin Hood, but neither have the wasted ‘ambition’ of The Tourist nor the arrogance of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s Biutiful. The Tourist is stacked to the rafters with real talent in front of and behind the camera, but in combination they completely misfire: you’ve got to get up pretty early to cock up the teaming of Depp and Jolie, but that’s precisely what is achieved. And Inarritu really needs to get over himself pretty damn quickly or nobody will be prepared to finance his over-bearing films. I can’t split Biutiful and The Tourist, so they each get a Cone of Shame to wear with 'pride'.

Moving on to the good stuff, the Golden Stan for Best Original Score goes to Randy Newman for Toy Story 3, if only for the score’s impact as the toys head towards the inferno and their apparent death. I should also mention (as ever) Clint Mansell, Darren Aronofsky’s composer of choice: not only is his adaptation of Swan Lake appropriately stirring and ‘heavy’, but also his own compositions add to the film’s rich experience.

My award for Best Cinematography goes to a hands down winner. There was some great work this year, notably from Martin Ruhe on The American, Matthew Libatique on Black Swan (and Iron Man 2), and Eduard Grau on A Single Man, but the outstanding winner has to be Javier Aguirresarobe for The Road. In my review of the latter, I said: “Javier Aguirresarobe’s cinematography (both the colours, the compositions, and the choice of lenses) is astounding - this backed by brilliant production design mean what’s left of the world is horribly real. Many of its images burn into the brain, there to stay.”

The Golden Stan for Best Adapted Screenplay goes without a moment’s hesitation to William Finkelstein for his reworking of Abel Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant as Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans. However, he needs to share the award with director Werner Herzog, whose stamp is very clearly all over the movie. Their re-rendering of the story of a bent cop finding redemption is significantly better than the original while retaining its sheer madness.

The Golden Stan for Best Original Screenplay is a toughie: it’s Toy Story 3 v Black Swan v The King’s Speech (which although containing some adaptation is mostly original). For sheer balls, the award goes to Michael Arndt’s screenplay from the story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich for TS3. Definitely not a kids film!

So, on to the acting categories, and first it’s Best Supporting Actress. The nominees are:
• Helena Bonham Carter/The King’s Speech
• Lucy Gordon/Gainsbourg
• Barbara Hershey/Black Swan
• Julianne Moore/A Single Man
• Mary-Louise Parker/RED
• Soledad Villamil/The Secret In Their Eyes
It’s easy to forget how good HBC can be: the warmth and gravitas she conveys in The King’s Speech is ample reminder of her abilities. Also delivering a reminder was Barbara Hershey, botched nip n tuck and all, as the mother from hell, living vicariously through her daughter.
We’re used to knock-out performances from Julianne Moore: her fading fag-hag is another from the top drawer (and counteracts her by-the-numbers turn in The Kids Are All Right).
Mary-Louise Parker caught my eye (in every way!) in RED, her career kookiness working a treat here, stealing scenes from under the noses of Willis, Freeman, Mirren and Malkovich.
It’s easy to lose sight of Soledad Villamil in The Secret In Their Eyes, just as the hero does, but she takes a difficult role and really conjures a distinct human character out of it.
But the winner, and only the second posthumous winner of a Golden Stan, is Lucy Gordon for what should have been a career-making turn as Jane Birkin in Gainsbourg. She completely holds the attention, even against Eric Elmosnino as Serge himself, but there are hints in her performance of whatever troubled her enough to take her life at the age of 28. A great loss.

Next is Best Supporting Actor. The nominees are:
• Tom Hardy/Inception
• Jude Law/Sherlock Holmes
• Pablo Rago/The Secret In Their Eyes
• Sam Rockwell/Iron Man 2
• Mark Ruffalo/The Kids Are All Right
• Geoffrey Rush/The King’s Speech
Tom Hardy stole Inception from under the entire cast’s noses, and now finds himself as a Chris Nolan regular with a big role in Bats 3.
Jude Law was a surprise in Sherlock Holmes: he’s always better playing a foil than being the protagonist – his put-upon Watson is a joy to watch.
Another actor who seems to fare better as a supporting player is Mark Ruffalo, his rogueish charm deployed to brilliant tragi-comic effect – even though his character is unjustly treated by the ridiculous script.
Making the most of an indifferent script was Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer: quite possibly the finest comedic comic book villain on screen since Gene Hackman in Superman. It’s bad enough that you’ve got to share screentime with Downey, Cheadle, Rourke and Paltrow, but when you’ve got to play a gutless fop too you could be excused for backing away: instead, Rockwell takes it on the chin.
Making the most of an astonishing script and having to face up to Colin Firth is Geoffrey Rush. Assured throughout, Rush gets to revel in both his comedic and dramatic skills.
But the winner is Pablo Rago: the journey of suffering his widower goes on is truly something to behold, made all the more poignant by the final reveal. Superb stuff.

Next is the award for Best Actress. The nominees are:
• Annette Bening/The Kids Are All Right
• Jennifer Lawrence/Winter’s Bone
• Isild Le Besco/Deep In The Woods
• Chloe Grace Moretz/Kick-Ass, and Let Me In
• Natalie Portman/Brothers, and Black Swan
• Emma Stone/Easy A
• Tilda Swinton/I Am Love
• Michelle Williams/Blue Valentine
There are a number of new faces here. Let’s start with Chloe Grace Moretz, who absolutely embodies Hit-Girl in Kick-Ass and has a fine stab at the vampyr in Let Me In: is she the new Jodie Foster or Natalie Portman?
Emma Stone almost stole Zombieland in 2009, and, in 2010, Easy A was her introduction to the A-list: let’s hope she’s not the new Lindsay Lohan or Alicia Silverstone – do a great high-school comedy and then disappear into tabloid-led career oblivion. It will be intriguing to see how she fares as Gwen Stacey in the Spidey reboot: for my money she would make a better MJ (I would happily take a second mortgage to see her say to Pete: “Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot.”).
Jennifer Lawrence made a huge splash with her searing performance in Winter’s Bone and should be a contender at every event during awards season.
Also excelling in difficult, challenging, grim roles were Michelle Williams and Isild Le Besco: the darker parts of the psyche is where these actresses work best.
Tilda Swinton is predictably brilliant as the wayward matriach in I Am Love, although the film left me a little cold.
Annette Bening is Hollywood royalty and delivers a 'less is more' lesson to Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right. Oscar might yet favour her over everyone else.
But I’m favouring Natalie Portman for her poles apart roles in Brothers and Black Swan. She suffers with grace, and always there’s that fragility, but in both roles she displayed a previously undiscovered power and indeed eroticism. Black Swan may be the role that comes to define her. The challenge for Portman now, if she chooses to accept it, is to plot her comeback from early award wins and pregnancy better than Gwyneth did…

OK, now it’s Actor. Here are the nominees:
• Yvan Attal/Rapt
• Nicolas Cage/Kick-Ass, and Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans
• George Clooney/The American
• Ricardo Darin/The Secret In Their Eyes
• Romain Duris/Heartbreaker
• Eric Elmosnino/Gainsbourg
• Will Ferrell/Everything Must Go
• Colin Firth/The King’s Speech, and A Single Man
• Edgar Ramirez/Carlos
• Andy Serkis/Sex & Drugs & Rock n Roll
I make no apologies for there being 10 actors on this list not very shortlist. Let’s deal with some of the less obvious choices from less seen films first. Romain Duris gave a comedic masterclass in Heartbreaker, while countryman Yvan Attal showed great control as the kidnap victim in Rapt. Another Frenchman Eric Elmosnino was riveting as Serge Gainsbourg.
Staying with the Johnny Foreigners, Edgar Ramirez was astonishing as Carlos, completely owning the role and commanding the audience’s attention, and Ricardo Darin might just be the Argentine George Clooney, conjuring so many different moods all in minor keys in The Secret In Their Eyes.
The boy Clooney added another conflicted man to his collection, while Nic Cage went mental in the best possible way in both Kick-Ass and Bad Lieutenant.
Will Ferrell delivered the goods in his best dramatic role, underplaying at the right moments.
Andy Serkis raged and soared as Ian Dury – a performance that should define him as much as Gollum.
Finally, Colin Firth delivered two career-best performances in A Single Man and The King’s Speech. In the first, he was reflective, mournful and suicidal, while in the latter he successfully overcomes carrying the weight of a nation and the weight of a disappointed father’s expectations; both roles could easily have been served by a typical Brit performance, but Firth brings extra dimensions and unexpected layers of humanity to both roles. If an award had to be made for greatest living Englishman, Firth would have to be on the shortlist.
But the award here is the Golden Stan for Best Actor, so arise Colin Firth.

Now, the penultimate award: Best Director. The nominees are:
• Darren Aronofsky/Black Swan
• Juan Jose Campanella/The Secret In Their Eyes
• Anton Corbijn/The American
• David Fincher/The Social Network
• Tom Ford/A Single Man
• Werner Herzog/Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans
• Tom Hooper/The King’s Speech
• Christopher Nolan/Inception
• Lee Unkrich/Toy Story 3
• Matthew Vaughn/Kick-Ass
Again, the shortlist is not short: there’s so much great work to recognise. There are distinct auteurs in the traditional sense on the list: Aronofsky delivers his best vision yet with Black Swan; Herzog takes Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant and makes it his own (complete with his own madness: you gotta love the iguanas!); Nolan justified Warners’ faith in him with the most talked-about film ending of the year; and Fincher confirmed the maturity he displayed on Button (with the exception of the one, hokey stunt shot).
Ford and Corbijn brought a great visual sense to their works, although the former was guilty of over-egging as I reviewed at the time.
Hooper and Vaughn should be celebrated as British directors displaying terrific range; indeed the latter may just be our most versatile mainstream director (delete the mainstream from that phrase and you must settle on Michael Winterbottom).
And Unkrich and Campanella serve their stories first admirably.
But the outstanding winner for conjuring an unforgettable film has to be Darren Aronofsky, collecting his second win in this category. Black Swan simply defines the term auteur: there is no part of the film that does not bear the stamp of Aronofsky.

Finally, the big one: Best Film. There were so many great films in 2010 that completely held my attention, that made me happy to be in the cinema. In alphabetical order, here they are:
• A Single Man: eye-watering visuals and Colin Firth’s performance.
• Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call – New Orleans: Herzog takes another auteur’s film and creates his own vision; defies description!
• Carlos: vast, sprawling terrorist chic; falls short of its ambition ultimately, but it demands to be seen.
• Everything Must Go: a lighter companion piece to Up In The Air, another reflection on the impact of the recession.
• Exit Through The Gift Shop: immensely enjoyable fraud!
• Heartbreaker: probably already being remade by a Hollywood studio, the French show how rom-com should be done.
• Inception: Nolan’s big risk paid off big time for Warners and captured the imagination of audience’s worldwide; in a sense, old school film-making – it all starts with a really strong idea.
• Iron Man 2: oh, it had its issues, but there were so many individual elements that I enjoyed. Bring on Thor, Cap and the Avengers!
• Kick-Ass: the best superhero movie of 2010 by some distance. Next for Vaughn: X-Men First Class…
• The American: I really liked the grounded, 70s feel of this excellent thriller. Surely the George Clooney weekender can’t be far off…
• The King’s Speech: Colin Firth again; only one film made me blub more than this (TS3, natch); at a time when the UK is in the doldrums, a more fitting example of not accepting failure, indeed a rallying cry, is hard to think of.
• The Secret In Their Eyes: its impact is unexpected given the potential for the script to have been executed in a run of the mill fashion; sometimes a cast and crew can create chemistry that is greater than the sum of its (already excellent) parts.
• The Social Network: massively enjoyable, but undoubtedly a little over-reviewed; a massive indictment of what will happen to humanity if we leave inter-personal communication to those who can’t communicate.
But the two films that took me to other worlds, that were genuinely immersive, experiential cinema, that made me squirm in my seat (for completely different reasons) were, of course, TS3 and Black Swan.

I’ve already debated at length their merits, and so far they’ve both won two Golden Stans. They are both genuinely brilliant films made with love, care and intelligence. Having to choose one to receive the Best Film award and let the other walk away with nothing leaves me uncomfortable, but a singular winner there must be.
It would be easy to be swayed by the melancholy and joy that is shot through TS3, but in the end the sheer artistic vision and execution of Black Swan gives the lesbian ballerina psycho-chiller the Golden Stan for Best Film.

Bring on 2011!

2011 film preview

So, 2010 is nearly at an end, and thus it is time to look forward to 2011. Here are just some of the cinematic delights to look forward to and quite probably some filmic horrors to avoid.

7 January
The King’s Speech
Outstanding! Awards ahoy for Colin Firth. A must see.

127 Hours
Danny Boyle’s follow-up to Slumdog.

The Next Three Days
The new Paul Haggis.

14 January
Green Hornet
Seth Rogen is the Green Hornet… Will anyone care?

Conviction
Hilary Swank’s latest Oscar bait…

21 January
Black Swan
Amazing: see it or die having lived a worthless life!

Morning Glory
The lovely Rachel McAdam stars with Harrison Ford doing comedy.

The Dilemma
Ron Howard directs Vince Vaughn and Winona Ryder.

28 January
Biutiful
The latest Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. Poorly reviewed by me.

Hereafter
Clint Eastwood’s first foray into fantasy/chiller territory. Matt Damon stars.

Barney’s Version
A curmudgeonly Paul Giamatti is the reason to see this.

4 February
The Fighter
David O Russell’s Golden Globe-nominated boxing movie. Great reviews everywhere.

Rabbit Hole
Nicole Kidman’s latest Oscar bait…

Brighton Rock
A remake of a classic.

11 February
True Grit
The Coens remake a classic.

Never Let Me Go
Austere fantasy Brit-flick with the best of young Britain: Keira, Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan.

No Strings Attached
This year’s Valentine’s movie. I only mention it because of Natalie Portman’s 'appearance' in the poster art to the left…

The Beaver
Jodie Foster directs Mel Gibson as an emotionally crippled high flyer in business who finds that he can only communicate via a beaver glove puppet.

18 February
Paul
The new Simon Pegg/Nick Frost.

25 February
The Rite
This appears to be Anthony Hopkins doing the Exorcist.

4 March
The Adjustment Bureau
Third month of the year, third Matt Damon film after Hereafter and True Grit. It's a Philip K Dick adaptation.

Fair Game
Based on a true story. Doug Liman directs Naomi Watts and Sean Penn in this anti-US espionage thriller.

11 March
Source Code
The new Duncan ‘Moon’ Jones.

18 March
The Eagle
Kevin ‘Touching The Void’ Macdonald does swords and sandals epic in the Roman army.

25 March
Sucker Punch
Zack Snyder’s latest slice of pseudo-B-movie horror.

World Invasion: Battle LA
When aliens attack LA… Cue big effects.

15 April
Red Riding Hood
Catherine ‘Twilight’ Hardwicke directs the fairy tale with Amanda Seyfried in the lead – lucky wolf!

29 April
Thor
The trailer looks fantastic. Natalie Portman’s third film of the year. Will Branagh deliver?

18 May
Pirates 4
Depp, but no Orlando or Keira.

27 May
The Hangover II
I didn’t think the original was all that, but it was a huge success, so here’s the sequel.

2 June
X-Men: First Class
The Kick-Ass team bring us the origin of the X-Men. It should be good.

17 June
Green Lantern
Can DC do for the Green Lantern what Marvel did for Iron Man? As the third superhero movie of the year and given the unconvincing trailer, I have my doubts.

29 June
Transformers 3
Yawn…

15 July
Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows Part 2
The end at last for Mr Potter.

22 July
Captain America
Please, please, please let it be brilliant.

3 August
The Smurfs
Where are they coming from?

12 August
Cowboys & Aliens
Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford are the cowboys…

9 September
War Horse
The Oscar campaign starts here: Spielberg does the award-winning play.

16 September
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Gary Oldman is Smiley.

7 October
Real Steel
Bizarre sci-fi boxing fable in which Hugh Jackman is the coach to a robot boxer: WTF?

21 October
Contagion
The new Steve Soderbergh.

26 October
Tintin
Spielberg and friends deliver motion-capture animation adaptation of the beloved comics.

28 October
The Woman In Black
Daniel Radcliffe stars in this classic adaptation.

Straw Dogs
A remake of Sam Peckinpah’s classic. Intriguing intellectually; could be utterly shit in the execution though.

18 November
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1
The penultimate part of the bloodless, sexless vampire saga.

1 December
Dredd
Karl Urban is The Law.

16 December
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
Tom Cruise’s latest attempt to star in a genuine hit. Brad Bird directs. Simon Pegg and Jeremy Renner co-star.

Sherlock Holmes 2
A welcome sequel to Guy Ritchie’s interpretation of the Great Detective.

26 December
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
David Fincher directs the US remake of the international best seller. What can this master director bring to this nasty tale?

Movies for the three days of Christmas

So, Steve has set me a challenge entitled Yuletide films. My mission should I choose to accept it is to come up with a list of three films, one each to be screened on xmas eve, xmas day and Boxing Day.

Here’s Steve’s criteria for each of the three films:
• Xmas eve: should have a feel good quality with a dollop of goodwill to all men
• Xmas day: a Saturday morning pictures feel, epic in length, monsters, heroes, all the trimmings
• Boxing day: with the new year upon us, a time to reflect and look to the future.

For the record, Steve’s choices are respectively:
• Amelie
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Gattaca

So, after some thought, here’s my choice if I was doing it this year (in a year’s time my choice may well be different…):
• Xmas eve: Dean Spanley – funny and very moving; great character actors (Peter O’Toole, Sam Neill and Bryan Brown); the damaging effects of war and the transmigration of the soul all dealt with a light touch that belies the intelligence of those executing this modern classic. Best line: “Giving women the vote is like giving a cow a gun: it’s against nature.” Defies description and expectation.

• Xmas day: Superman The Movie & Superman II – the definitive super hero movie. Yes, that’s right the two should be treated as one. Simply the best characterisation of Clark/Superman ever in the body of Christopher Reeve, the greatest Lois Lane, plus great villains in Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor and Terrence Stamp’s General Zod, and all round great support. Truly the hero’s journey as it was meant to be told. Plus one of the top three most stirring soundtracks (clearly the other two are Star Wars and Indy Jones) ever. Comedy, tragedy, drama and rampant heroism combined in one heady mixture.

• Boxing day: Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind – intelligent, funny, heart-breaking, challenging with career-best performances from Jim Carrey and the comely Kate Winslet. This never ceases to astound. Of course, it’s about love: the beginning of, the middle of and the end of, and then its possible rebirth. Its also a reminder of the power of memory, and how our past can dictate our future - but only if we let it.

Golden Globe 2010 nominations

The film critics of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have got awards season rolling with a selection of Golden Globe-nominated films that is both expected and surprising.

Not unexpectedly, The King's Speech leads the field with 7 noms: a 100% strike rate. Its three principal cast members - Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and HBC - all receive noms as does the director, Tom Hooper. Next up, and still going with form, is The Social Network on 6 noms.

However, next comes the first (good) surprise: David O Russell's The Fighter has also nabbed 6 noms, including those for all three principal cast members.

A clutch of releases have grabbed 4: Black Swan; Inception; and The Kids Are All Right.

Other nice surprises include: RED justly getting a nod; the performances of Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine getting recognition; Emma Stone being nominated for her potentially career-making turn in Easy A; and Jeremy Renner being noted for his role in The Town.

But, good god, the mind-numbing shocks are plentiful: let's start with the international embarrassment that is The Tourist - it's got 3 noms for Best Film, Actor (for Johnny Depp's off-kilter act) and Actress (Angelina Jolie in quite possibly her worst ever performance by some considerable magnitude). Hello????? And to add insult to injury, Depp picks up a second nom for Alice In Wonderland (also recognised for Best Film). WTF????

Matching its flop status, Burlesque garners just 3 noms - and a pair of them are for songs. And perhaps a little surprising is that 127 Hours didn't get a nod for Best Film.

Predicting winners is not easy at this early stage, but it's hard to see Toy Story 3, Colin Firth and Annette Bening being beaten in their respective categories. And the HFPA critics may be more open to Black Swan than Academy members...

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network
Colin Firth for The King's Speech
James Franco for 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling for Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Halle Berry for Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence for Winter's Bone
Natalie Portman for Black Swan
Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp for The Tourist
Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland
Paul Giamatti for Barney's Version
Jake Gyllenhaal for Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey for Casino Jack

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway for Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie for The Tourist
Julianne Moore for The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone for Easy A

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Christian Bale for The Fighter
Michael Douglas for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield for The Social Network
Jeremy Renner for The Town
Geoffrey Rush for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Amy Adams for The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter for The King's Speech
Mila Kunis for Black Swan
Melissa Leo for The Fighter
Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan
David Fincher for The Social Network
Tom Hooper for The King's Speech
Christopher Nolan for Inception
David O. Russell for The Fighter

Best Screenplay
127 Hours
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
The Social Network

Best Animated Film
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film
Biutiful (Mexico/Spain)
The Concert (France)
The Edge (Russia)
I Am Love (Italy)
In a Better World (Denmark)

Black Swan -v- Toy Story 3

With only a handful of films to see until the end of the year, it is highly unlikely that anything will come close to matching my two favourite films of the year: Toy Story 3 and Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan.

Without prejudicing the outcome of the Golden Stans, it is clear that those two films are head and shoulders above the rest – I gave both 10 out of 10. So, how on earth am I going to decide which is the best film of the year?

A colleague suggested the following scenario to isolate the winner:
• If you had to watch one of the two every day for the rest of your life, which would it be? In effect, which one would stand up to be repeated viewing?
He also suggested the following scenario to isolate the loser:
• Which one could you live with never seeing again?

Black Swan’s body horror elements would count against it for repeated viewing (I really don’t need to see Natalie Portman removing a toe nail in gory detail ever again), but the sheer depth of intelligence and craft infused in all aspects of the film’s creation and execution mean repeated viewing would always provide fresh insight.

Although, thinking about it, Black Swan takes you so deep into a fractured mind that repeated viewing would mean the viewer’s own psyche would begin to ape that of Natalie Portman’s ballerina… And that’s not healthy!

Toy Story 3 would, I believe, repay repeated viewing, what with the Pixar boys and girls embedding so many gags and character insights deep within the virtual sets. Certainly, there’s more humour in TS3 than Black Swan, which would make watching it every day for the rest of my life less of an endurance test than watching Black Swan. But where the ballet chiller has body horror and shocks that can be hard to stomach, TS3 actually ties my entire body, stomach included, in knots: the emotional weight pulls you under; could I really watch the toys going to the incinerator again, even though I know the outcome?
And, frankly, if compelled to watch TS3 every day, I’d need a companion to hug me afterwards and dry my tears, each and every time.

So that still leaves the two films at honours even…

Both are equally brave. TS3 could so easily killed off the franchise: it has the courage of its convictions, reminding us early on how hideously cruel life can be and how that cruelty can come from unexpected quarters, whether intentionally or not. It looks like a kids film, but really it’s a film for adults, especially those no longer in the first flush of youth; it’s a countdown to retirement, it places the heroes and the audience in death’s waiting room.

Aronofsky, The Wrestler having just reignited his career after the perceived epic failure of The Fountain, flirted with career suicide again by opting for Black Swan as his next project. A chiller about a neurotic ballerina, with strong lesbian overtones, body horror scenes, and quite possibly the most disturbed mother since Norman Bates’s does not, on the face of it, sound like a critics’ darling – and yet that is precisely what it has become. The film could so easily have collapsed under its own weight, yet the thoroughness of Aronofsky’s approach elevates the film beyond its source material’s potential for shlock treatment.

Although, if you want disturbed, what about the monkey in TS3? Now that is shocking!

Ultimately, both TS3 and Black Swan follow the line that great art should challenge the audience rather than comfort them.

If Black Swan has a problem, it’s that it is a trifle one-sided: as interesting as the other characters are (and as good as the actors are who play them), its focus is entirely on Natalie Portman’s uptight, fucked up ballerina. In contrast, TS3 benefits from a fully fleshed-out cast of a dozen or more…

Where does this leave me? I just don’t know, I still can’t decide. The Golden Stans will be announced on 31 December, so I’d better get my skates on…